Panic Attacks Are Sneaky

Panic attacks are sneaky. I can be completely happy one minute then the next minute go into a full blown panic attack. Death is my biggest fear. I do NOT want to die. But I know that I will die one day and there is not a damn thing I can do about it.

One of the worse things about my panic attacks is the overwhelming, intensity in the feeling is being nothing....of not existing....of once day not waking up. Recovering from a panic attack is getting harder each time. I just want to stay in bed and never leave my house.

Shelby's Not Feeling Well

Shelby has been sick off and on for the last few week. This photo I took on 13 December 209 the day we got back vet.  Shelby at me because I made her go. She had blood work done and her tumor aspirated (biopsy).

Shelby has been back to the vet twice since then. She had a very rough day yesterday, so we were back at the vet last night. Shelby's blood work looks great and the multiple x-rays taken do not show much of anything. The vet thinks Shelby has something going on in her intestines so the vet put Shelby on three different medications  for Supportive Care.

I love my girl to the moon and back and do not like seeing her like this. I will not allow her to suffer, so when the time comes to let her go, I will let her go. However, I will let her go with pain in my soul, a hole in my heart and tears in my eyes.

eCard of the Week #251: Weekend's Over....

Weekend's over and I didn't get 

jack shit accomplished.

Shelby Don't Not Appreciate Interrupting Trains

A little after midnight on June 3, 2018, I took Shelby outside to potty.

Unfortunately there was a train going by at the time, which Shelby had

to stare at until it went away. She does not appreciate being interrupted by trains!

Photo (c)2018 Shannon G. Wamsley

Happy National Napping Day 2018

Of course today is National Nap Day!

The day after springing ahead and its Monday!

Genius!

The Wise, Speak Less

Life has kicked me hard more times that I can count. 

As I have gotten older, I have gotten much quieter.

 I am sure my grade school/high school teachers

 and my parents would be totally shocked!

We Are All Broken

We are all broken, that's how the light gets in.

~Ernest Hemingway

Help Others...Don't Hurt Them

"Our prime purpose in this life is to help others.

And if you can't help them, at least don't hurt them."

~Dalai Lama

Opal Says You are Dreamy

**My birthstone is an opal.**

Opal Says You Are Dreamy: You have an innocent heart, and you truly believe in good in this world. You are an optimist.

You are a big daydreamer, and you think optimistically. There's no reason your dreams can't come true. Opals are thought to bring friendship and genuineness. You are a friend to many, and you get along well with others.

There isn't a mean bone in your body, and people are attracted to the true you. You have a lot to give. You go best with another opal. Surprised? You're so unique and multifaceted that only someone of your type will truly get you.

You clash with sapphire. While sapphires may impress you from afar, you find hanging out with them to be too constricting.

What Does Your Birthstone Say About You?

Minionism of the Week: Already Tired

I feel like I'm already tired tomorrow!

eCard of the Week #178: Sick of Winter

I'm so sick of Winter!

I just want to fast forward to Summer

so I can complain about how hot it is!

Society is Squishy

To me....most of society just seems squishy. (Yes I am using a gamer term....as in a healer trying to keep a squishy tank alive during a boss fight.)

But I digress...because I do feel that most of society is squishy. And that frustrates me! I constantly find myself saying "build a bridge and get over it", because some people tend to get butthurt about the simplest things.

Life is not all about getting a trophy for participating. Life is not about drama, whining, fighting, throwing fits or trying to one-up someone else.

Life is about enjoying your children, spouses, family, friends, pets and etc. Life is about slowing down and actually paying attention to the beauty around you. Life is being happy and finding peace within yourself so that the world around seems like a good place to be.

So, slow down and enjoy life while you can because in the end....no one gets out of here alive.

Stuck in My Head: "Young & Beautiful" by Lana Del Rey

"Young & Beautiful" by Lana Del Rey is one song that instantly brings me to tears.  

It is the last song my son, Colt sang to me before cancer killed him.

Colt just wanted to be loved no matter what the cancer did to him.  

I miss Colt so much. :(

I've seen the world

Done it all

Had my cake now

Diamonds, brilliant

And Bel Air now

Hot summer nights, mid July

When you and I were forever wild

The crazy days, city lights

The way you'd play with me like a child

[Chorus]

Will you still love me

When I'm no longer young and beautiful?

Will you still love me

When I got nothing but my aching soul?

I know you will, I know you will

I know that you will

Will you still love me when I'm no longer beautiful?

[Verse 2]

I've seen the world, lit it up

As my stage now

Channeling angels in the new age now

Hot summer days, rock 'n' roll

The way you play for me at your show

And all the ways I got to know

Your pretty face and electric soul

[Chorus]

Will you still love me

When I'm no longer young and beautiful?

Will you still love me

When I got nothing but my aching soul?

I know you will, I know you will

I know that you will

Will you still love me when I'm no longer beautiful?

[Bridge]

Dear lord, when I get to heaven

Please let me bring my man

When he comes tell me that you'll let him in

Father tell me if you can

Oh that grace, oh that body

Oh that face makes me wanna party

He's my sun, he makes me shine like diamonds

[Chorus]

Will you still love me

When I'm no longer young and beautiful?

Will you still love me

When I got nothing but my aching soul?

I know you will, I know you will

I know that you will

Will you still love me when I'm no longer beautiful?

Will you still love me when I'm no longer beautiful?

Will you still love me when I'm not young and beautiful?

What Are You Worth?

I Am Worth: $5,590.00

Hair Color:
[] Black = $100
[] Blond = $50
[] Red = $7
[X] Brown = $15
[] Bald = $5
[] Other=$2

Eye Color:
[] Brown - $150
[] Green - $75
[] Blue $50
[X] Hazel $100
[] Other - $15

Height:
[] Over 7' - $200
[] 6'8' to 7' - $175
[X] 6'0' to 6'7' - $150
[] 5'5' to 5'11' - $75
[]4'9' to 5'4' - $50
[] Under 4'9 - $75

Age:
[X] 41 to 50 - $150
[] 31 to 40 - $100
[] 26 to 30 - $75
[] 21 to 25 - $50
[] 19 to 20 - $25
[] 0 to 18 - $100

Birth Order:
[] Twin Or more than Twins $300
[X] First Born - $300
[] Only Child - $250
[] Second born - $150
[] Middle child - $100
[] Last Born - $200
[] third born - $100
[] fourth born - $100
[] fifth born - $375

Drink?
[X] No - $400
[] Only Holidays - $300
[] Sometimes - $215
[] YES - $200
[] only weekends - $250
[] Every other day - $50
[] Once a day - $15
[] I live from the bottle- $0

Vision?
[] perfect vision - $300
[] need or have glasses/contacts but don't wear them - $200
[] No correction - $100
[X] Glasses - $50
[X] contacts - $25
[] Surgical correction - $135

Car Color [or families' car(s)]:
[] White - $2,000
[] Maroon - $800
[] Gold - $700
[] Gray - $600
[X] Blue - $900
[] Pink - $475
[X] Black - $450
[] Red - $400
[X] Green- $350
[] Silver - $300
[] Purple - $250
[] Metallic - $200
[] Yellow (future) - $100
[] Primer - $75
[] Tan - $20
[] Rusted - $15
[] No Car - $0

Shoe Size:
[] 13+ - $300
[X] 12 and a half to 13 - $250
[] 11 to 12 - $700
[] 7 to 10 - $600
[] Under 7- $550

Favorite Colors (three):
[X] Black - $600
[] Red - $800
[] Yellow -$475
[] Brown - $50
[] Purple - $225
[] Aqua - $350
[] Orange - $300
[X] Blue - $300
[] Pink - $300
[X] Other - $ 50

Did you use a calculator to add it all up?
[] Yes - $0
[X] No - add $1000
[] On some - $750

So how much are you worth?

Stuck In My Head: "6th Avenue Heartache" by The Wallflowers

"6th Avenue Heartache"

Sirens ring, the shots ring out

A stranger cries, screams out loud

I had my world strapped against my back

I held my hands, never knew how to act

And the same black line that was drawn on you

Was drawn on me

And now it's drawn me in

6Th Avenue heartache

Below me was a homeless man

I'm singin' songs I knew complete

On the steps alone, his guitar in hand

It's fifty years, stood where he stands

And the same black line that was drawn on you

Was drawn on me

And now it's drawn me in

6Th Avenue heartache

Now walkin' home on those streets

The river winds move my feet

Subway steam, like silhouettes in dreams

They stood by me, just like moonbeams

And the same black line that was drawn on you

Was drawn on me

And now it's drawn me in

6Th Avenue heartache

Look out the window, down upon that street

And gone like a midnight was that man

But I see his six strings laid against that wall

And all his things, they all look so small

I got my fingers crossed on a shooting star

Just like me-just moved on

And the same black line that was drawn on you

Was drawn on me

And now it's drawn me in

6Th Avenue heartache

eCard of the Week #124: Hello Monday

Hello Monday.  We meet again.

Try not to crush my dreams of a quick work week please.

Tis The Season for Snowman Office Decor

This morning I put up a few decorations in my cubical at work.

I think snowman decor may be my newest obsession!

 

 

 
All photos (c) 2015 Shannon G. Wamsley

Lake Front Property and Office View

The first photo below was taken by me from my office window on 15 June 2015.
 Storm clouds rolling in!

This second photo I took when I got home.
It seems my neighbors have developed a lake in their yard.
I always wanted my house to overlook a lake.  Hehe

Theory of a Deadman - Bad Girlfriend

My Girlfriend's a dick magnet

My Girlfriend got a have it

She's hot, can't stop, up on stage, doing shots,

Tip the man he'll ring the bell, get her drunk she'll scream like hell

Dirty girl, gettin' down, dance with guys from outta town

Grab her ass, actin' tough

Mess with her, she'll fuck you up

No one really knows if she's drunk or if she's stoned,

But she's comin' back to my place tonight

She likes to shake her ass she grinds it to the beat

She likes to pull my hair when I make her grind her teeth

I like to strip her down she's naughty till the end

You know what she is, no doubt about it

She's a bad, bad girlfriend

Red thong, party's on,

Love this song, sing along

Come together, leave alone, see you later back at home

No one really knows if she's drunk or if she's stoned

But she's coming back to my place tonight. I say

No one really knows just how far she's gonna go,

But I'm gonna find out later tonight.

She likes to shake her ass she grinds it to the beat

She likes to pull my hair when I make her grind her teeth

I like to strip her down she's naughty till the end

You know what she is, no doubt about it

She's a bad, bad girlfriend

Doesn't take her long to make things right

But does it make her wrong to have the time of her life?

The time of her life

(My girlfriend's a dick magnet My girlfriend's gotta have it)

She's a gold digger now you figure out it's over, pull the trigger

Futures finished, there it went, savings gone

The money spent

I look around and all I see is, no good, bad and ugly

Man she's hot and fixed to be, the future

Ex-Miss Connolly!

She likes to shake her ass she grinds it to the beat

She likes to pull my hair when I make her grind her teeth

I like to strip her down she's naughty till the end

You know what she is, no doubt about it

She's a bad, bad girlfriend

She's a bad, bad girlfriend

She's a bad, bad girlfriend

Minionism of the Week: Pretend It's Not Monday

Keep Calm and Pretend It's Not Monday