eCard of the Week #635: Some People

 

Some people should be medicated, 

kept on a leash, and not allowed out in public.

eCard of the Week #634: Adopt! Don't Shop!

Adopt! Don't Shop!

eCard of the Week #633: Wear Real Pants

 

I'm not upset because it's Monday.

I'm upset because I have to wear real pants!

eCard of the Week #632: Delusional

 

A friend told me I was delusional.

I almost fell off of my unicorn!

eCard of the Week #631: Summer Diet

 

Just a heads up that I'm starting my summer diet which

has probably ended by the time you're reading this.

eCard of the Week #630: No Drama!

 

NO DRAMA - Violators will be Bitch Slapped!

eCard of the Week #629: Complaining About Summer

The first person I hear complaining about this summer  being too damn hot gets thunder-punched in the throat! 

eCard of the Week #628: Scoop of Awesomeness

You're a big scoop of awesomeness, covered with nerd, sprinkled with boss, and topped off with a big dollop of freaking adorable. 

eCard of the Week #627: Unsubscribe

I'd like to unsubscribe from my own thoughts.

 

eCard of the Week #626: Creating Sarcastic Ecards

 

Creating sarcastic ecards about my everyday life makes me feel so satisfied.

eCard of the Week #625: Incompentent

 

Well that's a level of incompetent we've not seen before.

eCard of the Week #624: Telling Me To Relax

 

Telling me to relax helps me forget about my 

stress and focus on my anger issues.

eCard of the Week #623: Sounds Of My Chewing

 
Unfortunately, my daydreams about being skinny are always
interrupted by the sound of my own chewing.

eCard of the Week #622: Miserable or Strong

 

We either make ourselves miserable or we make
ourselves strong. The amount of work is the same.

eCard of the Week #621: Allergies

 

Please manifest my allergies into human form so I can punch them in the face.

eCard of the Week #620: Cats Don't Care

 
95% of cat owners admit they talk to their cats.
100% of cats don't care.

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eCard of the Week #619: Grateful

 

I'm grateful to the difficult people in my life.

They show me exactly who I don't want to be.

eCard of the Week #618: Blamed on Auto Correct

 

I wish more things in my life could be blamed on auto correct. 

eCard of the Week #617: When To Talk To Me On Mondays

 When to talk to me on Mondays.

eCard of the Week #615: My Face and Body

 

I've reached the age where my face always looks

as tired as my body always feels.