Saturday, March 10, 2018

In Memory of Colt....Two Years

Today is March 10, 2018.  Two years ago at 2:40AM, my son...my handsome, loving, kind, caring and wonderful son, died.

Colt was diagnosed with Acute Myeloid Leukemia on February 8, 2016. The doctor's gave him a five year plan and gave us all hope.  False hope, in my opinion.  Colt only lived 31 more days.
All the medical technology and medicine and treatments in the world could not save him. I miss Colt so damn much.

The pain of losing him is deeper than anything I have ever felt. There are no words to even begin to describe how I feel. A large piece of my heart and soul died in Dallas when Colt passed.
Every day life is hard without Colt. I miss his wonderful smile and his laugh. I miss hearing him say "Hi Mama". I miss talking to him and I miss hearing his voice. I miss hearing "I love Mama!". I miss the "good morning", "good night" and "I miss you Mama", text. Hell I miss everything about my precious son.
Most days, I feel like a robot, just going through the motions of each day. My heart and soul ache to the core.
I missed Colt yesterday. I missed Colt today today and I will miss him tomorrow.

No matter how long it’s been since he left this world, there are times when it suddenly becomes so very hard for me to breathe.  I try to keep myself busy. But memories always sneak through. Tears flow daily, sometimes several times a day.

The heartache I feel over losing you, my son, is the kind of heartache one can feel deep down in their bones. I just want to hug him again, to hear his voice, to hear him play the drums.  I want to share songs, talk about his day and what the future holds.  I want to hear hear his laugh, see his smile and just be near him.

I love you son, forever and always.
To the few of you that like to say hateful things or want to think they can turn my pain and loss into things being all about you....please feel free to piss off!  I don't talk about my son to get sympathy or to allow you to be a jerk!  I talk about Colt to keep his memory alive!

2 comments:

  1. hello shannon its dennis the vizsla dog hay i am sending yoo lots of vizsla tail wags on this diffikult anniversery and vizsla woofs at peepul hoo wood say meen things abowt sumthing like this!!! ok bye

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