July 2, 2013

Ten on Tuesday: Sarcasm (A Continuance from Monday Musings)

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1. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably a wise investment.

2. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

3. Some days you're the bug; some days you're the windshield.

4. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

5. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.

6. A closed mouth gathers no foot.

7. Duct tape is like 'The Force'. It has a light side and a dark side,and it holds the universe together.

8. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.

9. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving

10. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

11. Never miss a good chance to shut up.

12. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

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