Wednesday, October 7, 2015

30 Days of Love - Day 3: Mom

Day 3 is dedicated to my Mom. 

Mom passed away on April 3, 1991 (She was killed in a nearly head-on automobile accident, five miles from home.) It happened 24 years ago and there are days it still seems like it just happened.  

One of my biggest fears growing up was losing my parents.  The thought of death sent me into panic attacks. Even though I drove Mom crazy she always knew when I was upset and would comfort me.  One of the things I remember most about mom is laying on the couch with my head in her lap.  She would put my hair behind my ear over and over like she was brushing it with her fingers. I felt comfortable and at peace.
Over half of my life I have been without my mother.  My biggest fear is still death...my death.  I still have panic attacks that seem to get worse as I get older.  Even though mom is not here in person to comfort me, I think back to when I felt save and push my way through the pain.

Mom and I did not get along very well as I was growing up.  However, she was a great mother. It saddens me that it took me so long to realize just how great she was.  I really should have listened to some of her advice as I was growing up. I just thought I was right and that she was just trying to run my life. I know better now. 

I miss you Mom.

Love,
Shannon


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